Let me start by saying, any top that refuses to interact with you whilst experiencing sub drop (besides professional ones) is, in my opinion, not someone worth playing with in the first place. However I know from personal experience this isn’t always possible. Maybe you played at a party and you don’t even have a contact for the top you played with, maybe you are in an abusive relationship where your post play needs are neglected, maybe you are in a long distance s/D relationship or there are other restrictions meaning that your top can’t be around in the days after play. 


Sub drop can be either (or both) a physical or emotional response to the endorphins and adrenaline that courses through our bodies whilst we play. Sub drop can happen immediately after a scene or days after. It’s important to not neglect sub drop that happens days after a scene it is just as worthy as an immediate response and deserves just as much love and attention.

Here are some of my top tips for coping with sub drop alone…

KNOWLEDGE: Being knowledgeable about after care can stop the feelings of guilt, being a ‘bad submissive’ and shock that can come with it. There’s loads of great information on line regarding sub drop and after care.

PRE-PLANNING:  Pre-planning is key, making time for not just play but for aftercare straight after a scene (something any top should offer) and for yourself in the following days is key. Ensuring to the best of your ability that you have nothing emotionally or physically exhausting for anything up to a week after an intense session will really help you to stay relaxed during this time.

IMMEDIATE CARE: Rehydrate and have something sugary after a scene, wrap yourself up warm and lay down somewhere comfy.

BE YOUR OWN NURSE: Take care of any physical injuries first and continue to show tenderness, love and rest towards your body.  I’m sure this does something psychologically to ease the sub drop reminding yourself that you play because you love yourself not to punish your body.

REACH OUT: Reach out to friends or loved ones who understand what sub drop is …a strong network of submissives is really helpful for understanding and being on hand with cuddles when you need it. Even putting a message out there on Fetlife will garner tips and help from people who understand.

WRITE: I find writing really helpful during sub drops and low points in life in general. It’s that perfect mix of easy physical task and mental energy that keeps you focussed. It’s also a great release. Why not write a letter to the person you played with? You can revel in the fantastic play you had, perhaps explain if something went wrong or if there is something you would change for next time. Instead you could write a piece of erotica about your experience? This can remind you of why you played in the first place and help you to look at the play in a positive light. Failing that, write me a blog post about sub drop, play, kink…anything relevant and get it sent to me so I can share it on our blog.

BATH: Have a warm relaxing bath with all your favourite products and relaxing music. Not only will this help physically to ease muscle pain but it will also sooth your tension and stress and remind yourself that you are worthy of tenderness and self love.

COOK: Cooking is another practical hobby I find really helpful, it’s distracting enough to stop any mental spiral but easy and relaxing enough to not cause extra stress. Make yourself some cookies, cookies make everything better.

I hope this helps, please share your tips with me.

Kitten x  

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